oh, god
so here's the deal, i woke up partially terrified partially wtf this morning. now call it what you will because i know it sounds funny now, but i had a nightmare. yes, a bona fide nightmare. now i haven't had a nightmare in quite some time. they usually revolve around not turning in homework or not getting to work on time. and now that i recall, i did have a similar one recently that took place in spanish and inspired me to attempt a short film adaptation. that one was a mix of "signs" and schindler's list. this new one was crazy. it reminded me of the twilight zone episode about the aliens and their cook book called "how to prepare man."
anyway, in my dream aliens had landed and said they would be taking all of us back to their homeland with them. i'm sitting in my living room going "wtf? i'm fine here." then tripp starts talking. yes, that's right. he tells me he is actually an alien and then proceeds to chew on something. i smack him on the forehead as i usually do when he misbehaves. but no, this isn't tripp anymore. this is crazy pod person tripp. he looks directly at me, menacingly and says, "don't you dare to that to me again." and i freak out and do whatever tripp commands me to do. and so he commands me to take him to the movies (i think...) where he meets up with other pod people. but these people are people and not dogs. so there goes my dog with strangers. i sit in on their meeting because i'm his chaperon and i drive the car. he tells me they are taking everyone back to their planet to eat them. so i'm like, "fuck." then he proceeds to tell me the leader of their planet is barack obama. and the reason he is running for president is to gain control of the country and mandate that we all go to their planet (so we can be eaten of course). i say that is ridiculous and just hearsay from that god damned conservative media. but then again, my dog told me this.
i meet up with jake and meredith and i tell them what tripp told me. for some reason they believe me and our big plan to go out with a bang is to steal a bottle of wine from the liquor store. we go in and split up. i grab a bottle. minutes later, i see jake leave. mere and i haul ass out. we jump into the car and i see that jake has already stolen a bottle of wine. i freak out and say i need to return mine because we were only supposed to steal one. we turn around and see the liquor store clerk run out of the store and look around. i keep yelling that i need to give my bottle of wine back because it's wrong that we stole two. she runs down the street past us and we decide to drive off.
then i woke up. it's not so scary now. especially not in the dry way you're probably reading it. but seriously, seeing tripp slowly turn and look up at me and say "don't you dare do that to me again," scared me shitless.
